"The Special Mother"

So, this is another note I received on the Parents of Special Needs group from FB I'm on. I think is a sweet way of looking at things, however, I do have to disagree with one thing. I do not ever see a child as less than perfect because of their "handicap" or "special needs." They may not be the "norm" of the world, but the wonderful little spirit inside of them is perfection we should all admire. Their innocence, or even just their strength to overcome the ways of the world that do not conform to their needs is very admirable. People with special needs have to over come obstacles, things we take for granted everyday.


Now, as far as this note goes, I think this is beautiful. As a mother of a special need's child, I have often felt inadequate, nervous, scared, stressed, overwhelmed, & have asked God many times why he felt that it was right for me to be Emily's momma. Not because I was upset to have her, but because I want to be, & have to be everything Emily needed, needs now & will ever need. I have felt many times he put a confidence in me that is very hard to live up to. Luckily, I find myself on my knees in prayer, asking for strength, guidance & help(sometimes patience, too!). Other times, I find myself in my husbands arms, asking him to hold me up for a while when I feel I cannot handle things, & need a break.


This is called "The Special Mother":


The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck



Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air. 

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."




I don't mean to "toot my own horn" about being blessed with a special need's child, please know that. However, it is nice, to know that through the extra things we have to endure as parents of these children, that we can look at things this way. Nice to maybe see some of the confidence Heavenly Father has placed in us, & a reminder that we have to continue to love, care for & go to bat for our kids when they need us. Please take this in the sweet spirit it was intended to be. I have to say, the part about rising above the "ignorance, cruelty & prejudice" has come in quite handy : ) 


Okay, I bet people are tired of these posts now, I just had to share, these really touched me & were something I needed to read & remember. Hugs to all!